just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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