this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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