Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
