Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
