Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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