I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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