Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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