im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
