Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
