community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
