Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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