He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
