I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
