Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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