my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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