All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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