her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
