This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
