Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
