I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize