I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
