I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Found the puke drawer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
