It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
