Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
