I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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