dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
