This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All I want is dick and wine.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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