A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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