hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
