you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When are your genitals available?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
