Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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