just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize