I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
