We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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