I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
