So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
