My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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