mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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