Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
