Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
