I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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