i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
