She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
