either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
