Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
