A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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