let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
