i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
