call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
