Apparently you make a good broom.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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