I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
