what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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